Boat.

Cartagena, Colombia. 2018.

I’m not a great swimmer. It may be one of the reasons I dream a lot about large bodies of water. In this physical life, I practice safety around it, which has pretty much become a natural instinct to “stay away from the deep end”. This could easily be defined as a fear of drowning. Figuratively, I am continuously drawn to explore what’s below the surface. Yet, the dive is not always simple.

In my dreams, I am free of concern. I float, I fly, I maneuver with ease. No swimming. No drowning. I am in a calm control over the experience. I make my way to wherever I feel the desire to go. That’s what it’s all about. Being present, fully aware, having vision, and letting nothing stop me, letting nothing discourage me, letting nothing delay me from maneuvering through time and space for the simple pleasure of just being. The simple pleasure of just acting on feelings. The simple pleasure of allowing my desires to live fully, and fade away freely. I become inspired each time to live in this manner with opened eyes.

Where am I going? Wherever I please.

How will I get there? By any means…

Lose Count

Coney Island, Brooklyn, NY. 2010.

It’s deeper than that. Deeper than the surface, the grains of sand, the ocean. Deeper than the flesh, the bones. It’s all worthless if you serve no purpose. Deeper than bank accounts and possession amounts. We’re still searching. This game of life, we’re all players, until we dive deep, peeling back the layers. We’ve been dressed up, made up, to forget what we’re really made of… Just love.

Just a spirit.

Just a soul, without limits.

Just wondering where the winds were born, where they traveled from, and where they’re off to next. Just wondering how the oceans stay put, all that water, and only once in a while does she hurricane her tsunamis.

Now’s the time to check your baggage. What are you carrying? Everything can’t go, and in due time – none of it can go.

Check your baggage, what do you possess, – is it un·quan·ti·fi·a·ble?

A Journey Entry

This is a safe space. Words can be placed here to express thoughts and feelings that first sit with me, and are then passed along for you to relate, or not. I write in my journal at the start of every new day. I write my peace. It’s all just a journey. And today, I say…

Forever, Incomplete.

February 1, 2020

Dear Self,

We are grateful. Our body, mind, and spirit are in sync. We are living in alignment with our heart. We have all that we desire, lacking nothing. We know that should there come a time for us to want something new, something different, something more, we must do one simple thing – ask.

Once we release our desires into the universe, our journey changes. WE then become programmed to do the work that is necessary to become fulfilled within these new interests. It’s a call and response. An action and reaction. We have the power to live as we truly wish. Our mission is to have purpose and protect our peace.

We feel rich knowing that we have peace of mind. We feel strong, sturdy, and grounded, knowing that we’ve built this from the ground up. Our foundation is made of self-love and patience. Our prayer is to continue to live out loud, live fully, explore the world while we can, and to truly love others so that the love we receive is pure, genuine, and gentle.

What do you do every day, to practice self-awareness?

Treat yourself, write your desires, and follow through with actions – for, they speak louder than any words you could ever write or say.

Dear reader, you are greatly encouraged to write a letter to your future self by visiting futureme.org . I received a letter I wrote last year on this day, and let’s just say – I spoke a lot into existence.

Have a great February!

Love & Light.

Perfect Vision

Visualize. Materialize.

The rain is gone. The view is clear. Perfect, almost. It’s time. Measure. Strategize. Set the tone. Dive in. Do the work. Manifest the dream. Prove that it’s possible. Live the life always imagined. Take the risk. Be great. Be Epic.

Dear Mirror:

The love in your eyes runs down long passageways, that stems from your soul. No one could ever find the root. It’s universe. Stars burst. The love in your eyes, magnetize, heart’s gravitating, catapulting from chest, to the source of spirit. Up. Out. There. Somewhere. The love in your eyes spoke my language, finally. We can communicate. Safe, in the open. The love in your eyes reminded me, vulnerable me, it’s more than okay to peek. It’s more than okay to be free. The love in your eyes easily unlocked a door, without trying. Thank you, for cleaning the mirror. I can see clearly. I see, perfectly.

Dear Sun:

Thank you for always shining. Even when clouds thought they rained on your parade. They passed. You were unbothered. You were steady. Thank you for teaching me stillness. Consistency. Your glow is everlasting. Undeniable. You bring hope, and you don’t even have to try. Thank you for being the brightest star. Inspiring me to share my light, regardless of the clouds that trickle through space and time. I am powerful. Steadfast. Similar to the makings of you. You bring the heat, the fire, the light. You do what is only meant for you. No ego. No idea of competition. With you, it is what it is. You are desired, respected, admired, and we couldn’t do it without you. Thank you for providing light. I can see clearly. I see, perfectly.

Dear Self:

“Within you is the light of a thousand suns.”

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly.”

“You get what you focus on, so focus on what you want.”

Beauty in all things. Color in darkness. I am the light. A responsibility to seek possibilities. I am hope. I am power. I have the key to open the doors. Seeking more, and more. Unstoppable. I can see clearly. I see, perfectly.

Keys to Outside.

Tuscany, Italy. 2017.

Once upon a time, I didn’t understand stillness. The kind that creates a simple balance by blocking out the noise. The noise of faces, words, actions, and ideas. The kind that makes you feel born again, entering the world anew, conscious of your spiritual presence. The kind that is unaware of “ego.”

The way the universe is set up, I know for sure I’m not alone. We are experiencing detachment from self-importance. Since we’ve begun to indulge in moments of stillness, our forever mood is abundant peace. We have become self-less. We have become silent. We have become our own meditation. We’ve had our epiphanies, our awakenings, our moments of reflection, our tastes of fulfillment. Our stillness has opened up the doors of joy, deeply rooted, and growing beyond our wildest dreams. We have become honest and forgiving. We are loyal to our heart’s desires. In any moment of dis-ease, we have grown up onto a level where we remind ourselves to breathe. We know it’s not supposed to be difficult, and when life presents itself to us as the unexpected game of pinball it is, we handle it.

We’ve decided to no longer pay for tickets to get on the emotional roller coaster, when we’re the one in control of the power button. We’ve learned to let the emotion run its course, and we have learned to gracefully move right along! We’ve matured into giving ourselves about a day to feel the feels, and then we get back on our feet, check in with our heart’s greatest desires, and we push through. We’ve been still. We’ve learned lessons. We’ve grown, so much, and we know our best days are ahead of us.

The greatest advice I’ve heard to date is to “Fall upwards into the embrace of the supreme. Stay low in the arrogance of person-hood, and we will taste the suffering. Choose the higher, even not having any firm conception of what it is. Overcome all attachments.”

Be Still. Be Free. Be You. Be True.

With love.

Paint Your Portrait

Mexico City, Mexico. 2018. The Frida Kahlo Museum (The Blue House)

When I think of self reflection, Frida comes to mind. A woman, a seeker, a dreamer, a fighter, an artist.

“I paint myself because I am alone, I paint myself because I am the subject I know best.” – Frida Kahlo

How well do we really know ourselves? It only becomes complicated when we spend so much time looking outside for answers about the world, our world, and who we are in it. We are force-fed identities, and molded into their shadows – unless we are stubborn enough to know better. It pays to be stubborn. Stubborn people know who they are, and what they want, and very often refuses to subject themselves to a sort of change that does not align with their beliefs.

Let’s imagine a world where Halloween is everyday, and that persona we’ve been anxious to disguise ourselves as is us, everyday. Who would we be, then? What’s our “uni brow?” We all have something unique to offer. And, let me just say – cliches are necessary; reinforced and overused statements for reminders of what’s real.

We’re all yearning for more and more people to reveal themselves. We celebrate that. We celebrate people like Lizzo, which is amazing – but what are we waiting for? Have we truly accepted our differences, are we still trying to somehow “fit in,” are we waiting for someone else to “do it first?” Why? When we think about who inspires us, what is it that we’ve found in them? Do we not already have the courage, are we fearful of taking off the mask? Is it possible to express ourselves and amplify our own voices to a level of authenticity, for greater clarity on the lives we are to be leading? If we are not our authentic selves right now, here, today – then anything that lies ahead is deceit.

Are we spending enough time alone to truly get to know ourselves, without the distraction of other people’s authentic or false identities? We owe it to ourselves to be certain of who we are, where we stand, and what we have to offer.

“Your playing small does not serve the world, there’s nothing enlightened about shrinking.” – Marianne Williamson

“I am my own muse. I am the subject I know best. The subject I want to better.” – Frida Kahlo

Are you your own muse? Are you expressing yourself, fully? Are you waiting for the right time? Do you have time?

Be You. Be True. Paint Your Own Portrait.

Golden Spirits

Caye Caulker, Belize. 2019.

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” Dr. Seuss

Our intuition is golden. We have the powerful ability to read between the lines, and to hear silence ever so clearly. It’s the reason we move the way we do. It’s the reason we may find ourselves attached and detached. It’s the reason we are free or bonded. It’s why we find ourselves saying, “No obligations, no expectations, no disappointments.” When we have little to no expectations of people, and just hope for their honesty and integrity – we’re in a safe place.

Our intuition reminds us that it’s in control, and when we disregard it – there’s a great lesson to be learned. So, we vow to lack disappointing ourselves. We become encouraged to do as we feel, to live life to the fullest, and to stay in the moment. We become inspired to express ourselves, creatively. We stay true to ourselves, we reach for the stars, and we travel the world. We live the lives we dream of, and we wait for no one to join us on our journey. We know that when we do this, when we live our lives in this manner, the universe blesses us with more and more – exceeding our expectations, growing wilder than our imaginations.

We are so grateful for all that we have, and all that we do not have. We look forward to change, growth, new. We look forward to dreams becoming reality. We stay close to our emotions, doing as we feel, and honoring ourselves. We know that our soul needs to breathe easy, and we let it. This looks like flowing, floating, swaying, soaring, glowing and growing through time. This looks like forgetting the limitations of ourselves as humans, and being golden spirits. This looks like freedom.

“Intuition – the sense of knowing how to act spontaneously, without needing to know why.”

When you show yourself who you are, believe it the first time.

When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” Dr. Maya Angelou

Deeply Overthinking.

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Somewhere in the world. 

Having a moment. In my feelings, thinking deeply, overthinking. Curious and confused. Inspired and ambitious.

Early mornings, with a swollen face after some hours of sleep, looking at myself in the mirror and wondering about the new day. How shall I spend the time?

Glancing at the words hanging next to that mirror, paired with the voice in my head. “Keep moving, keep flowing.” (Do as water and light.) “Let things come to you.” (But never remain idle.) “All things with love.” (Even when you don’t understand.) “Stay humble.” (For better or for worse.) “If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door.” (Don’t ask any questions, just trust, and move on.)

Slipping into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. I somehow feel a need for it to join me as my thoughts land on the pages of my journal, during what seems like a very long five minutes.

Stepping out into the streets of the world, it’s the wandering of my mind that forced movement of my feet. What will I find? What will find me? No way to be certain. There’s a lot of noise out there. Lots of lies. Then, there I am, in the midst of it all. There we are. Each one of us, and our 70,000 thoughts. It can be overwhelming.

With the day flying by, stepping back over to that mirror, wondering if I spent too much time thinking about whether or not I used my time wisely. Wondering about time being a complete illusion. Thinking that it’s more than okay to have some days when I do absolutely nothing but overthink everything. Considering my thoughts, and those of others – and wondering where to draw the line. Checking in with myself, making sure that my peace is secure.

Falling into slumber, upon my lavender oiled pillow, looking forward to the time I’ll spend, not thinking too deeply.

 

 

 

Change, No Coins.

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2014.

Inevitability. My hands are up, embracing the one thing I can’t control. Change. Along with it comes opportunity for unlimited growth. As much as I’d like to prepare for growth, it’s not as effective as it is to simply go through the changes. There’s not much power in preparing for it, because I have no idea what it will do to me. All I can do is pay close attention to what evolves and dissolves as it’s happening.

I go with the flow. I don’t try to force anything. It’s a feeling of empowerment to embrace change entirely. The experience of growing as changes naturally occur can be compared to a raw, unfiltered immersion that produces a sometimes painful beauty. It’s all about perspective. Something within myself changes with every experience. Change lies within all of the little tiny intricate things. I love how it’s not always recognizable right away. Change is the planting of seeds.

I’ve changed. I’m not the same person I was last year, last month or even yesterday. There are many things and people I care about, and different levels to which I care. There are levels to everything. I’m all for the significance of balance. If I’m feeling off, then I have some shifting to do. One of the four agreements shared with us by Don Miguel Ruiz tells us to not take anything personally. I’m embracing that. My flow through this world has everything to do with what moves my spirit. If I am not moved, then I will not move. I am my first priority, so I have to pay my attention to what has the potential to affect a change in me. Change is a currency. Change is a reaction. Change can be a choice. Change has inspired me to no longer take anything anyone does personally. There was a time I did, and I’m a greater person for now knowing better. To take things personally is sort of like taking a drug. That feeling would metaphorically place me “under the influence” causing a delusional belief that I could have influential powers over other people’s actions. I do not take what you do personally.

My change is reflected through my actions. My change is expressed through love. My change is presented through words and colors. I love and appreciate the universal law of change; a promise to the living that nothing is forever.

I will practice congratulating others when I notice their growth. It’s worth celebrating. It means we’re awake. Listening and learning. Sometimes when I write, I feel as though I’m rambling. What I appreciate most about my blog posts is the fact that they change over time. My mission to share my opinion about this life on earth doesn’t change, but my delivery does. There’s more value in personal change, than the kind I use to exchange currency for product. If I were to strip naked of material possessions, what do I really have. A woman evolving. Change, no coins.

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2018. 

Due Time

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Singapore, Singapore. 2018.

When we know our gifts, and our purpose, and aren’t afraid of presenting them to the world, then we also know when it’s our turn to shine. We’re aware of everyone being on a different mission and having varied goals. Knowing this, we understand that we’re not here to run a race, perhaps we are here to run, just not all at the same time.

Sharon bakes really well, and her specialty is dessert. Marian also bakes really well, but she specializes in savory foods. Simply because they both bake well doesn’t mean that Marian should bring baked macaroni and cheese to the dessert party.  The idea of passing the baton, stepping aside, and supporting others during their moment makes complete sense.

We are not in competition, and if we were, we’d at least stick to our lanes or categories. Let’s not exhaust our energy unnecessarily. The fitness trainer should never worry about the dance instructor taking their clients. The author does not have to worry about the illustrator outshining them. The lights on the trees serve a greater purpose when they are turned on during the night. No matter the person, the talent, the gift, it can never compare to that of another – because we’re all so different, and we’re all so necessary – just not all at the same time.

As we understand our roles, our lanes, and our purpose, we understand when it’s our time to shine. We are well aware that the light we possess and express would never threaten that of another. It just doesn’t work that way. “Life is a journey, not a competition.” So please, let’s not be stingy with our gifts, they’re meant to be shared with others.

“I am not competing with anyone but myself. I want to be excellent at whatever I do.”       – Dr. Maya Angelou (remembering you on your birthday, and always).

“I’m not interested in competing with anyone, I hope we all make it.”

“…because she competes with no one, no one can compete with her.”

“Successful people never worry about what others are doing.”
“They’re not your competition if you don’t even compete.”

“When you’re in your own lane, there is no traffic.”

“Comparison kills joy.”

“You don’t compete, where you don’t compare.”

“Supporting another’s success won’t ever dampen yours.”

“Stay in your magic.”

…and for those who are afraid to find their magic or share their magic, this one’s for you:

“Never give up on a dream because of the time it will take to accomplish it, the time will pass anyway.”

“Let your fear of failure be your motivation to succeed.”

“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.”

When we know our gifts, and our purpose, and aren’t afraid of presenting them to the world, then we also know when it’s our turn to shine.