Her Words.

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Buenos Aires, Argentina – on what would have been her seventy-ninth birthday. 

My grandmother would always say, “I wish you all the lucks in the world.”

On every card, for birthdays and graduations, she faithfully wished me all the lucks in the world. Her simple words, were not so simple to me. I wondered why she wished more than one luck. Deep down inside, I felt touched by her spirit – and even when it was written in a card, I could hear her voice saying the words so clearly. Sweet and simple, with grace and confidence. She wished it for me, because she knew it was possible to have luck in the world. That pleasant memory of her is etched on my soul.

In some selfish way, I began to believe that she actually wished me the world. That she wished me great purpose in the world. That she wished me to see the world. That she wished me to make a difference in the lives of people in the world. I translated her words to mean that she wished for me to learn as much about the world, and to travel the world, and to share my spirit with the world. I’d like to believe that she wished me to seek out my talents and place them ever so humbly in the world. Perhaps she wanted me to see the world as my school, a place where learning never-ends. What if she meant for me to see what the world has to offer, and confidently go after whatever I desired? She could have easily meant she wished for my safety in the world. Perhaps finding genuine love in the world. Having good health. Financial stability. Peace of mind. I believe she wanted me to do some of the things she wished for herself, but she would never say that. She would just wish me all the lucks in the world. She would have never disclosed to me that she wished she could have been a dressmaker, if I didn’t ask. It wasn’t about her dreams and her sacrifices. It wasn’t about her past decisions. It was a message of hope to her granddaughter, that the world has so much going on, and she simply wanted me to be well in it. I believe she wanted me to live purposefully, not letting too much time go by without seeing my dreams come true. She didn’t place any specific ideas in my mind. Her words were careful. Perhaps, general. I believe they were plentiful. Those words were full of love, hope, and imagination.

My grandmother passed away shortly after her seventieth birthday. I’d like to believe she had many experiences in the world. One may see her message as simple, as something anyone would wish for their loved ones. It’s true. Many grandparents must wish this for their grandchildren. Many parents must wish this for children. The variety of life experiences in this world are inevitable. There’s much good, bad, and ugly. Wishing luck or blessings are prayers for peaceful paths. The luck brings about a light of hope, it brings about a purpose to inspire, it brings about the drive to live before you die.

In the case no one has told you once before, accept this message:

“I wish you all the lucks in the world!” – my grandmother

 We can all use a little luck… 

Deeply Overthinking.

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Somewhere in the world. 

Having a moment. In my feelings, thinking deeply, overthinking. Curious and confused. Inspired and ambitious.

Early mornings, with a swollen face after some hours of sleep, looking at myself in the mirror and wondering about the new day. How shall I spend the time?

Glancing at the words hanging next to that mirror, paired with the voice in my head. “Keep moving, keep flowing.” (Do as water and light.) “Let things come to you.” (But never remain idle.) “All things with love.” (Even when you don’t understand.) “Stay humble.” (For better or for worse.) “If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door.” (Don’t ask any questions, just trust, and move on.)

Slipping into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. I somehow feel a need for it to join me as my thoughts land on the pages of my journal, during what seems like a very long five minutes.

Stepping out into the streets of the world, it’s the wandering of my mind that forced movement of my feet. What will I find? What will find me? No way to be certain. There’s a lot of noise out there. Lots of lies. Then, there I am, in the midst of it all. There we are. Each one of us, and our 70,000 thoughts. It can be overwhelming.

With the day flying by, stepping back over to that mirror, wondering if I spent too much time thinking about whether or not I used my time wisely. Wondering about time being a complete illusion. Thinking that it’s more than okay to have some days when I do absolutely nothing but overthink everything. Considering my thoughts, and those of others – and wondering where to draw the line. Checking in with myself, making sure that my peace is secure.

Falling into slumber, upon my lavender oiled pillow, looking forward to the time I’ll spend, not thinking too deeply.