Month: May 2018

Deeply Overthinking.

.Reading time 2 minutes.

3B8EF40D-24D0-4BC2-A245-BD35EA4318A9.jpeg

Somewhere in the world. 

Having a moment. In my feelings, thinking deeply, overthinking. Curious and confused. Inspired and ambitious.

Early mornings, with a swollen face after some hours of sleep, looking at myself in the mirror and wondering about the new day. How shall I spend the time?

Glancing at the words hanging next to that mirror, paired with the voice in my head. “Keep moving, keep flowing.” (Do as water and light.) “Let things come to you.” (But never remain idle.) “All things with love.” (Even when you don’t understand.) “Stay humble.” (For better or for worse.) “If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door.” (Don’t ask any questions, just trust, and move on.)

Slipping into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. I somehow feel a need for it to join me as my thoughts land on the pages of my journal, during what seems like a very long five minutes.

Stepping out into the streets of the world, it’s the wandering of my mind that forced movement of my feet. What will I find? What will find me? No way to be certain. There’s a lot of noise out there. Lots of lies. Then, there I am, in the midst of it all. There we are. Each one of us, and our 70,000 thoughts. It can be overwhelming.

With the day flying by, stepping back over to that mirror, wondering if I spent too much time thinking about whether or not I used my time wisely. Wondering about time being a complete illusion. Thinking that it’s more than okay to have some days when I do absolutely nothing but overthink everything. Considering my thoughts, and those of others – and wondering where to draw the line. Checking in with myself, making sure that my peace is secure.

Falling into slumber, upon my lavender oiled pillow, looking forward to the time I’ll spend, not thinking too deeply.

 

 

 

Change, No Coins.

.Reading time 4 minutes.

DSC08459.JPG

2014.

Inevitability. My hands are up, embracing the one thing I can’t control. Change. Along with it comes opportunity for unlimited growth. As much as I’d like to prepare for growth, it’s not as effective as it is to simply go through the changes. There’s not much power in preparing for it, because I have no idea what it will do to me. All I can do is pay close attention to what evolves and dissolves as it’s happening.

I go with the flow. I don’t try to force anything. It’s a feeling of empowerment to embrace change entirely. The experience of growing as changes naturally occur can be compared to a raw, unfiltered immersion that produces a sometimes painful beauty. It’s all about perspective. Something within myself changes with every experience. Change lies within all of the little tiny intricate things. I love how it’s not always recognizable right away. Change is the planting of seeds.

I’ve changed. I’m not the same person I was last year, last month or even yesterday. There are many things and people I care about, and different levels to which I care. There are levels to everything. I’m all for the significance of balance. If I’m feeling off, then I have some shifting to do. One of the four agreements shared with us by Don Miguel Ruiz tells us to not take anything personally. I’m embracing that. My flow through this world has everything to do with what moves my spirit. If I am not moved, then I will not move. I am my first priority, so I have to pay my attention to what has the potential to affect a change in me. Change is a currency. Change is a reaction. Change can be a choice. Change has inspired me to no longer take anything anyone does personally. There was a time I did, and I’m a greater person for now knowing better. To take things personally is sort of like taking a drug. That feeling would metaphorically place me “under the influence” causing a delusional belief that I could have influential powers over other people’s actions. I do not take what you do personally.

My change is reflected through my actions. My change is expressed through love. My change is presented through words and colors. I love and appreciate the universal law of change; a promise to the living that nothing is forever.

I will practice congratulating others when I notice their growth. It’s worth celebrating. It means we’re awake. Listening and learning. Sometimes when I write, I feel as though I’m rambling. What I appreciate most about my blog posts is the fact that they change over time. My mission to share my opinion about this life on earth doesn’t change, but my delivery does. There’s more value in personal change, than the kind I use to exchange currency for product. If I were to strip naked of material possessions, what do I really have. A woman evolving. Change, no coins.

IMG_1568

2018.